taking a somber turn

uncle jimmy died yesterday.

i cant go home for any of the arrangements because i have too much i need to stay and do at school.
i wish i could go home to support my family, but it would be more like my family supporting me like always.
im just sad for my grandparents- theyve lost so many people in the last few years, great grandma, aunt joanie, and now uncle jimmy.. i hope they dont start feeing guilty about living so long- because i like having them here,  because i need them around. :(
im going to miss him. we didnt see him much but when we did i loved every minute of it. he always made me cry at thanksgiving when he said a the prayer before dinner, and he loved playing games with us, cards or whatever. and love god so much. and i remember when he gave us a recipe for coca-cola cake, he said it made the cake so delicious. we never made it. now i really want to.
i never thought of him as old. he was so timeless to me.  he went in and out of the hospital for most of his life with complications of being paralized fromt he waist down in his late 30s. the doctors that treated him loved him, said he was a miricle and they visited him long after the treatment was carried out. my grandpa told us once that a doctor even used my uncle case as means to write a paper and presented it at a conference~! :)
he was a miricle and made everyone he talked to smile. he wouldnt miss a day calling my grandma to say hi and updating her on his life/condition. im going to miss, and im sure she is going to miss those phone calls.

im kind of glad i cant go home- because i dont like the idea of him being gone.